Will my social anxiety ever be the same?

by Charlie-Jane, posted in lifestyle, Mental health, Uncategorized

I have already touched in previous blog posts about my anxiety and how it effects me in social situations. I touched upon how i always feel anxious around others and worry about being in groups. I also touched upon how i always feel others are watching everything i do even though i know deep down inside they clearly aren’t and wouldn’t care. But that was before the corona virus and now that anxiety has changed to a bit of survival instinct around others. Not only am i now concerned about others views of me and being around other people but now i worry about the current pandemic as well.

Being around others in public in situations where i’m social distancing (i.e exercising or shopping for essentials) has started to become a bit of a bother, Although there are easy rules to follow in the fact of social distancing in public i find that a lot of people ignore the rules and get too close for comfort. Its quite simple to keep your distance but runners want to get shoulder to shoulder and shoppers seem to want to barge through to get there cheese that bit quicker. The way the world has changed has been quite scary especially in supermarkets it causes a fair bit of anxiety. I find it feels like we’re in some sort of war with the virus and with everyone else.The changes to queuing and where you can and can’t go can be quite overwhelming. I also find the checkout the place where i am most anxious and have my panicky moments. The rush to load and unload your trolley while also having no choice but to touch dirty items just sends me into overdrive i worry about the person thinking i am taking too long, the Que behind me and the germs and i feel so overwhelmed the whole time till i’m out the store and can catch my breath. I find that i get quit anxious when people get a bit to close for comfort i get really hot and i feel a lot of pressure to run away to sanitise. My ocd seems to come back in the form i have to change shower and wash my clothes immediately after leaving the house too because someone may of coughed or breathed too near me.

After the lock down ends i wonder if i’ll always be in this state of anxiousness around big groups and being around strangers. Obviously for as long as corona virus is around i am sure i’l be sanitising till i’m red raw and avoiding being too close to anyone as much as possible. It causes a lot of questions. Will i be able to Que without getting hot and sweaty. Will i be able to shop without feeling like having a panic attack? Will i return to the doctors for medical issues that are non urgent but still need treating out of fear of infection? Will i feel comfortable travelling or going to shows with big crowds? Who knows. All i know the world has changed and as humans we have to adapt but for us anxiety suffers it really is hard accepting all this change. Especially the change in routine, Hopefully we can move forward soon and the lock down be eased slowly so that we can slowly ease ourselves into civilisation again!

As always here if you need anything, Charlie x

Lola-Rae candles review

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Home Stuff, lifestyle

Hi ladies and gentlemen welcome back to my blog! Today I thought I’d do something a little bit different and view a small businesses candles selection. They kindly sent me some to try in exchange for a review so here we are! Anyone who knows me that my thing is candles and I probably have about 50 candles and wax melts in my house at any one time! So one could say I’m a bit of a snob. My usual go to candles are sweet or homey smells. My all time favourite brands are yankee candles and sand and fogs range all the way from the untied states. One could say I have a expensive taste. However that doesn’t mean I don’t partake in the occasional home bargains candle and hope for the best. So without further adue let’s get into this review. And from just opening the box and smelling the goodies inside I know it’s going to be a good one!

So first impressions. The candles come very well packaged with very little risk of breakage. The packaging is sleek and simplistic my sort of style. I hate bright in your face candles that look like a Poundland special. Sorry Poundland it’s not personal. The candle box is simplistic and pretty it reminds me of something I can’t put my finger quite on! The jars are simple and pretty again with their logo on and the chosen scent. I love these jars because when they’re empty I wash them up and use to store bits and bobs in them like sweets or cotton wall. The wax melts are absolutely adorable and I love the little tiny size it goes to show a little goes a long way. The heart shape is really quite pretty. Lastly but not least the snap pods are in a easy tub which you simply pop the lid of, again sleek and elegant design. All of their products come with safety advice clearly highlighted on the back which i think is such a fantastic idea!

First up is the candle. This candle is Thyme, olive & bergamot. First of all this candle completely took me by surprise. I opened up to sniff and oh my god I was completely taken aback. The smell is so strong and fresh and filled my nostrils up with the fresh smell. I absolutely love it. Dare I say it? I found it stronger than a yankee candle. I know. That good! I’d describe the smell as similar to a men’s aftershave. It reminds me of my husband and I know he will absolutely love it too. Obviously as it’s a candle they’ll be a long burn time which is always a bonus. Plus it looks so pretty in my bedroom and living room or even my bathroom.

Onto the wax melts. I’d say these are to buy to sort of try a product before buying. These would be prefect for small little burners around the house.

Sun washed linen is the next scent I got to trial! I love the smell of laundry on a washing line and this is that exact smell. It reminds me of elijah being a baby and hanging his washing out and giving it a big sniff. I adore this smell and can’t wait to burn it.

Peony’s are my favourite flowers so naturally I love anything peony related. My wedding bunch included one and my anniversary flowers have the most beautiful bulbs about to bloom! This scent has lychee in too! It smell phenomenal and fresh. It also smells fruity and like a sweet I am in love with this one and want a big candle! WOW!

Next up we have the pink champagne and pomelo. Again they smell really strong and beautiful. A slightly fancy smell perfect as a gift. Again the fruit in it makes a fresh fruity smell which really works well with the champagne! Very sweet and lovely.

Snap pod up next! Easy to snap one out and pop in your burner. This one is black Raspberry &Peppercorn . This is a soft smell. Very soothing

I was kindly gifted these items and all opinions are my own and honest. I will be purchasing again once I’ve used them all up. Very soothing and warming smell. Smells like a homey smell which is one of my favourite things about a candle.

So that’s everything. They all burn well and my house smells amazing no matter which one I use. I imagine they’ll last a long time and i have got to say I’m really impressed these may be my favourite candles I have ever had. The perfect gift and the perfect everyday purchase. No mater your budget they’re very affordable.

They sell wax melts, snap pods, Reed diffusers and of course candles! The best thing about them is the candles are non toxic. You can find them on Etsy, Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook! Shop them here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LolaRaeCandles

You can follow and see all updates on their Instagram here: https://instagram.com/lolaraecandles?igshid=rc3wkbd8s42

To get a discount they have kindly given a 10% off voucher just enter the code – THEHAZELWOODS

Do check this lovely family run company named after their adorable little dog! Remember to shop small and support small businesses where you can! They are also donating 10 percent of may revenue to nhs charities.

As always it’s been a pleasure thanks Charlie!

London v Ipswich: What it’s like being single in each. (A guest post by @itsallcominguprosy )

by Charlie-Jane, posted in lifestyle

Hi everyone,

First thing first, I am not Charlie. Underwhelming, I know. 

My name is Ella and I run the lifestyle blog, It’s All Coming Up, Rosy. I’ve known Charlie since high school, and as we’re both bloggers, we decided to combine forces and do a guest blog for one another. Are you excited? I’m excited.

Now, you all won’t know this but I live in London right now, and I’m also very single/ may be in love with my ex-boyfriend. Oh, I know, it’s super healthy.

So, keeping all that in mind, I wanted to do a little blog post about what it is like being single in London compared to being single in Ipswich. Brace yourselves.

London: 

The club scene

I can’t begin to describe to you how much fun it is to dress up with my housemates, get ridiculously drunk, take an abundance of pouty selfies and go out in London. The clubs are stupidly expensive, but there’s always an Instagrammable gimmick or deal to pull you in, and you can always guarantee an incredible night out. There’s nothing quite like stumbling through the City not knowing what may happen, not knowing with who, but either way, there will be someone new everywhere you look.

The men 

The men in London are a different breed. Sometimes it feels like London is a very arrogant, very exclusive club I get to be apart of it. It has its downfalls – the feeling of needing to look a certain way, act certain way, live in a certain area. But it has its perks. 

Because with it, comes the men. The choice of any kind of person. Pop on any dating app and you will find the arrogant, incredibly attractive bankers, the Shoreditch artist types, the out-of-my-league Instagram models, the dreamy expats… you get the picture.

It doesn’t matter whether I’m even dating or not, but the choice is there and that’s part of the fun and temptation.

The London standard

I have a friend who was seeing a guy who took them to THE SHARD on their first date. Like? She didn’t even really like him, but goodness, that’s setting a high standard.

And with an abundance of things to do, you never get bored in London. That means no chance of a boring date.

If you want something touristy, head to one of the numerous landmarks. You got some money to burn? Go down to Kensington and Chelsea. Feeling bougie restaurant? There’s plenty.

It’s all very impressive. 

The attitude

No one cares what you do in London. No one will question you, or query. There are so many different people doing different things that when it comes to dating, it doesn’t matter how you go about it.

One week, I went on three different dates. I was so tired, but I had so much fun. But no one questioned me or my motives, they just asked me how they went.

A couple of months ago I was clubbing at G-A-Y, I met a sweet girl and got her number. No one cares. You just do what you like, with whoever you like.

Ipswich:

The club scene 

The club scene is… well, limited in Ipswich. 

It’s not a bad thing, you know exactly what you’ll get from each place. In fact, there’s something quite comforting about getting dressed up, going round a friend’s house, getting wasted and then going out. It’s innocent, tender.

And it’s also great being able to walk home. I don’t recommend you do it, at all. And I really shouldn’t. But I’ve walked home many times in Ipswich and it’ll take about 40 minutes, in heels. One time, I walked home drunk in London, in converse, and it took me over an hour. 

That was a very fuzzy night. 

The men 

What an interesting breed they are in Ipswich… 

My main problem with dating in Ipswich is that I already know everyone. Sometimes I’ve gone on Tinder just to see who I know on there, it’s a very easy and fun way to kill 10 minutes.

Not only that, but here’s a snapshot of the type of men on there: Lad, Lad, some boy named Callum, Lad, Farmer, Lad, Lad, Drug dealer. The dating pool isn’t exactly large, and while London’s men may be much of the same and more arrogant, at least, there’s more hope. 

The Ipswich standard

Now, I’m actually a big relationship girl. So, bar me dating in London, I haven’t been on too many dates in Ipswich as an adult. I moved to Birmingham for university at 18-years-old, and then came back at 21 and was in a relationship with an Essex boy six months later. 

So, our first date, we went to a pub and then went to Zizzi’s. No problem what-so-ever. Not nearly as fun as London, but with limited resources, it can’t be helped.

Our second date though was delightful. The company helped a lot, but we went to Felixstowe and played arcade games and walked on the beach.

Ipswich can be lovely, just in a different way. 

The attitude 

Here’s Ipswich’s main problem. Everyone knows everything about everyone. You bump into your neighbour, who’s hairdresser is a girl you went to school with.

The links are too close for my personal liking. I can’t get away with anything here without someone else knowing about it.

While it may be a nice, tight-knit community for some, for me, it just feels like a lot of people know about my dating life.

But hey, you can’t have it all. 

And… that sums it up from me. I’m going to go swipe on Tinder now. 

Stay safe, 

Ella

You can follow Ella’s word press here: https://rosytintedview.wordpress.com/

Follow her Instagram: @itsallcominguprosy

Also check her for all your writing needs! https://ejwrites.co.uk

Messy play in partnership with Hartley’s fruit !

Featured by Charlie-Jane, posted in family life, lifestyle, parenting, Uncategorized

Hi all as we reach day 2636526 in lock down we’ve been thinking of ways to keep our little one busy and thought why don’t we share those ideas with you. The lovely people at Hartley’s fruit gifted us lots of jelly to share with others what we get up to with jelly!

I know what your thinking jelly? That’s just for eating? Well yeah it’s for eating BUT you can also play with it. You can hide things in it and explore the texture as you try to fish bits out of it! SO if you’re looking for a cheep and easy activity then look no further!

All you need is jelly, you can buy Hartley’s jelly in most supermarkets and corner shops as well as online! Then you can get inventive. I like to set a theme today I used Elijahs little dinosaurs and we had a dinosaur theme. We have previously done jungle animals, the lion king theme and we’ve even used fruit too! If your child is still at age where everything is in the mouth I suggest bigger toys they can’t choke on or cut up fruit!

How to make: Simply follow the manufacturer’s instructions and when it’s starting to cool out the fruit or toys in. Then when it is completely cool put in the fridge to set for a few hours I suggest a minimum of three hours!

Now the fun part! Get it out and put some old clothes on and get ready to get messy! Get some tools out if you wish, I got a spoon but we’ve previously used whisks, chopsticks and lots more to squish into the jelly.

While your child plays talk to them while they explore. Talk to them about the texture and ask them questions. Ask if it’s squishy? Ask if it’s cold. Ask how it feels in their hands. Talk about how it is cold and how it is wobbly. Talk about what your using to get the toys/fruit out. Count how many objects you remove from the jelly and talk about if they’re sticky or not.

We enjoy getting bigger toys and splashing them in the jelly also! It’s a great play idea which you don’t have to worry about them eating the product!

We find this a super fun idea we play with other children when they come round and can’t wait to do more play with others after lockdown!

To clean up, once all the toys have been removed allow them to eat some jelly. If you’ve made to much save for later in the fridge. To finish just simply wash up as normal and add the toys and utensils to the washing up pile. Remove dirty clothes and wash hands it’s that simple.

Have fun and enjoy yourself! Let’s play with our food that little bit more! Thanks again to Hartley’s for supporting our play today! (The jelly used was gifted).

For more play ideas be sure to check my Instagram play idea highlights where I’ll be adding more as we play! Follow: @lifewiththehazelwoods and tag me and Hartley’s in any jelly play you do!

Thanks Charlie!

Like a flower the sun helps my mental health

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Mental health

It may be the fact it’s beginning to feel a bit more like summer and although we can’t sit in a beer garden or eat al fresco at a restaurant we can do it at home. We still are lucky enough to be able to go out for our one type of exercise a day if we wish too and that allows to enjoy some of nature’s absolutely glorious beauty for absolutely free!

Now it may be the fact that my body’s finally absorbing some of the vitamin d it so badly needs or just wanting to experience the outside world a bit more and spark my curiosity. But I feel a bit healthier. I feel a bit a bit more untuned into my body and my emotional needs. I feel when I need a break and sitting in the garden for a little bit can make me feel a lot better then sitting inside. I feel the sun helps more than the rain clouds and although I burn like bacon I enjoy being dry as a raisin as apposed to drowned like a rat. I’m enjoying the suns morning glow lighting my living room and bedroom each morning it feels a bit brighter and happier under the warm sun. It’s helping my heating/lighting bills and my soul.

I’m enjoying watching elijah running around playing around in the garden. I never thought we’d have a garden and here we are homeowners with a garden who would if thought! We enjoy running around after each other when we go for walks. I’ve always enjoyed photography so love to take photos of nature and of my family. It really helps me focus on the pretty things and takes my mind of the rubbish. I enjoy looking back on those photos and enjoying the beauty and memories brought back by them.

The days are longer with the sunshine and we don’t feel a need to go to bed earlier or rush to get inside from the garden at night. It feels nice to enjoy reading in the garden with natural light instead of slumped on the sofa under a lamp!

Although I still struggle with my mental health and still have days I feel so overwhelmed I do find the sunshine really does help me personally. It may not help everyone because it’s not a cure, it’ll never cure me. I’ll still be sad when the sun shines and sad when it rains but that’s life. Some days are better then others. But sometimes the sun does make me feel better when it hits me be it inside under a window or outside in the garden.

Do you think the sun helps you sometimes?

Health anxiety in a pandemic

by Charlie-Jane, posted in lifestyle, Mental health, Uncategorized

It never goes away health anxiety. You have a few good days then wham you’re back. Back in the loop of questioning every bodily function which can be completely normal but to you it’s like your body’s going to explode. Health anxiety as I’ve already touched on before in previous blog posts is basically thinking worse case scenario of every illness and feeling your body goes through. In a age of google we seem to think it’s our best friend when in fact it can be a dark, dark place. It’s simple google my symptoms and I’ll be assured? But what about when I google a headache and think I have a tumour or if I have a weird mole that it’s then cancer? How I’d explain health anxiety is being a catastrophic thinker on overdrive.

Over the last few months covid has been doing it’s rounds in the press and media and there is literally nothing you can do to not hear something about it. Unless your armish of course. With a complex list of symptoms completely similar to the common cold and hay fever it’s hard to not think a sniffle is the virus. With talks of death being amongst the most talked about thing in the virus I’ve come to accept that this is a deadly virus and it scares me to think about it.

A few months ago I had a numb arm and chest pain just as the corona virus had sort of had one or two cases in other countries to wuhan. I tried to not let my health anxiety get the best of me and go to a doctors appointment as for some reason I thought I’d be sent to hospital and I was worried about infection there. I took more painkillers and went to my counselling session and became really in pain so much so she cancelled the appointment and told me to go to the doctors. The doctors where very worried and sent me to hospital. While they’re I spent the whole time panicked I’d get corona virus and panicking. I santize to my hands where red raw. It was there I found out I have fnd which caused the symptoms and will return again and again. Coming out of hospital I felt so worried I’d get the virus again and was super scared to be around crowds exetera. I obviously didn’t have it but every time I felt warm or coughed that was it I had it.

After being in lockdown my health anxiety is still pretty high. I hate going out. If someone gets near me on a walk or something I want to rip my skin off and smack them with it and retreat home fast. Even though James and I have had no social contact in months I worry I’ve got it sporadically. Everytime I feel warm. Everytime my asthma is triggered by hay fever that’s it I’m dying.

The thing is with health anxiety is it doesn’t go away. When self isolating it still doesn’t make me stop worrying. Finding a new lump or mole means I have melanoma or lymphoma. Having a blurry eye day makes me think I’m going blind. Stomach pains or reflux from Ibs makes me think back to my endoscopy days and think right there’s defiantly cancer or Crohn’s disease forming in there. Now that I know I have fnd I still think am I having a heart attack or have I had a stroke even though I know it’s from this disease. Things don’t blur into the background but us anxiety suffers are trying to suppress our emotions, our need for reassurance from others because we worry about the pandemic and that we might be annoying someone. If we where to get seriously I’ll aswell would we want to go to hospital due to being deathly afraid of all the confirmed cases at them?

So if you like me suffer with health anxiety and struggle to think clearly during the pandemic know that you’re not alone. You’re okay. Your doing incredible to be stuck inside overthinking everything that’s going on with you and your body and the world. It’s okay to be scared to be around others and it’s okay to want personals space. Look after your physical and mental health.

As always my dms are always open!

How to support someone with depression.

by Charlie-Jane, posted in lifestyle, Mental health

Just because you see the world a certain way doesn’t mean everyone else has too. Some people see the world in a black and white way and some see the colour. Everyone is allowed to have their own feelings and that’s okay. If I say I’m feeling down. I don’t need someone telling me all the positives of life right now and things I already know. Like I know I should be grateful I have a family, people have it worse and bla bla bla. I mean do people honestly think it’s helpful to try and tell people how to think?

Here’s a fun fact if you try to make someone feel a certain way they will probably go the opposite way. You can’t make someone feel happy by telling them to be. Medication isn’t a magic fix for depression and nor will it ever be.

When someone’s feeling down talk to them. Ask and VALIDATE their opinions. Don’t tell them what to do. Don’t ask about their medication. Because that’s gonna piss anyone off. All you need to do, to be a friend is listen. Not give advice. Just listen. Let someone moan to you. Do not make them feel guilty. Your issues are different to someone else’s and imagine if someone told you how to feel if you where feeling down and what to do because their opinions are different then yours.

There’s been so many times over my life where I’ve been told how to feel, to suck it up, someone has it worse. But you know what it doesn’t matter how someone else has it because they are not currently living your life. One thing I’ve learned from counselling is that I am entitled to feel down. I do not need to bury my emotions and if it helps to talk about them then that’s what I bloody well should do! When family or even friends say someone has it worse I now say the conversations over and I don’t care if someone has it worse my feelings are still valid.

Some people have different views than us on life. Someone who is depressed will see the world as doom and gloom and that’s okay. Instead of forcing positivity on them just ask how they’re feeling. Just listen and say I know that must be hard. Don’t try to compare to your feelings. Don’t try and tell them what to do because it doesn’t help. You can also be more than one person. You can be positive then depressed because as humans we can have this ability to be positive and then crash, hard.

You also don’t have to talk about their depression. You can just ask them what they’ve been up too, change the conversation. Talk about films and movies you’ve seen. Talk about anything else then there depression this helps take their minds of things. Depression needs a distraction the more your focus on it sometimes the worse it feels. Your friend is still in there. So continue to treat them as normal and as there friend be there for them. Hopefully you’ll never need to have them be there for you in the same case.

If you’re really concerned about someone or yourself you can contact many charity’s such as Samaritans exetera. As always my dms are always open. Stay safe, let’s get through this together.

Potty training

by Charlie-Jane, posted in family life, lifestyle, parenting, Uncategorized

Now that the UK is in lock down i decided with us being stuck inside constantly that we would finally get stuck into potty training. We have tried in the past and he wasn’t ready so we stopped. When he started more signs we decided that it was time and that while we have the time we may as well at least try. I’m no expert in the line of potty training and to be honest i would in know way want to be. It is incredibly stressful and probably one of the hardest parts of parenting i have come face to face with. But i think finally, we are coming out the other side. So if you think your kids ready here’s some of my advise that may help, or may not as every single child is different but it helped us.

So you’re thinking of potty training? First thing you need to do is look for some of the signs your little one is ready. Because if your child is not ready they will not pick it up and it will only stress you and them out. Potty training is already stressful so make sure they’re ready. So here are some signs to know your child is ready.

  • Can tell when they’re wet or weeing. Will pull at dirty nappy and be uncomfortable until changed.
  • Runs to a corner or certain space to do a wee or poo.
  • Has a fascination with using the potty or watching you use the toilet and want to try.
  • Their nappies are more dry for longer periods.
  • They tell you when they need a wee or poo.
  • Fidgeting before needing the potty, walking around, pushing legs together or just more fidgety then usual.
  • Wants to try pants.
  • Dry at nap time.

If your little one is showing a few of these signs then its probably time to take the plunge. You’ll never be ready to potty train but it is so much easier if they are ready and you start as early as they show signs. The next step is to get supplies ready to start potty training.

  • Take your child with you shopping or help them choose online big kid pants. (obviously not taking them if in lock down).
  • Explain about the potty and what it’s for. Perhaps buy a little book that explains potty training and read regularly this helped.
  • A potty. A travel one is a lifesaver so if you take it outside you can keep the contents safely till your home.
  • A toilet seat for trying on the toilet some kids prefer the toilet first and it’s there ready for the transfer from potty.
  • Disposable toilet wipes.
  • poo liners are a life saver to stop mess of poo in pants.
  • plenty of soap to clean hands more.
  • Cleaning products because it is hell of a messy.

So how did i potty train. We started with allowing him to sit on potty with nappy on, to get used to it. We would read books about potty training and explain what he would be doing soon. We took him shopping months ago for big boy pants and he choose them when we came home we tried them on. We started with showing him to go potty when we need the toilet. We would say we need the potty when we went to the loo to teach him we use the potty too. Then we started letting him wear his pants for a few minute a day. We slowly got him to sit on the potty to try we explained what its for and sometimes read his books to him. We stopped when he wasn’t getting it and waited until a few weeks ago and we have stuck to it. We repeated what we had done before and just picked it up as we went on. We got elijah to sit on it more and tried to take his mind of things, singing or letting him watch something. We used a potty reward chart with stickers but he wasn’t too bothered about the stickers but he did enjoy getting snacks as a reward. We praised using the potty and when he had an accident we told him that no wee and poo go in the potty and repeated every time. We would ask him where we and poo goes after a accident and he would tell us. We set alarms to try every twenty minutes to sit on the potty so he would get used to trying. After a while he got used to it and we could tell when he needed to go to the potty he would fidget a lot. We would take him to the potty when we thought he’d need to go and try. After a while Elijah got hang of it and started to tell us when he needed the toilet every now and then. Now he tells us every time he needs the loo. He will still have accidents but i think we can finally say he is potty trained. Thankfully most of the stress has gone and although we still have accidents it is worth it in then end.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself or care about your house. They will have accidents and it will be messy, It will be stressful and you will want a break from it but if your child is ready continue. If they are not ready and don’t get anywhere with the potty try again in a few weeks. Remember your child does need to be potty trained at some point and they can’t start it themselves. It’s a part of parenting that nobody likes but it’s so worth it to see them grow up with another milestone proudly completed . If you have any questions lets me know! Good luck!

Don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband.

by Charlie-Jane, posted in lifestyle, Uncategorized

The other day i was scrolling facebook and this quote caught my eye “don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband”. It spoke to past me and how i viewed my past boyfriend as my world. We got together when i was 16 and he was my first long term boyfriend. When you’re in a relationship you can’t see your own worth. And although i think everything happens for a reason i wish i knew my worth back then and how stupid i was. First of all he was a few years older than me and that should of been the first warning sign but i was young and nieve. I was finishing school and he was of an age to go out drinking every night. He treated me like crap and i never saw it, i think when you’re young and rebellious you never see it. Despite spending almost every night crying and being basically used for three years i decided i had enough of wasting my time and decided to move on with my life. Immediately i felt better, learned to love myself and got to know myself more. Dated and got to know what i wanted in a guy. Then one day along came my husband and changed me and my life for the better.

Know your worth if you are not happy, you do not have to stay because it’s easy and all you know. You do not have to settle and you certainly deserve more. If you’re having more bad times then good times and your relationship gets tedious then it’s enough. You deserve more. If you spend time crying because of how someone makes you feel then know your worth. You should’t stay with someone who ever makes you doubt yourself.

There is always someone better out there.Your person is out there and as painful and heartbreaking as a break up can be the right person is out there. Someone who will treat you how you deserve to be treated and more. Someone who teaches you not only to love but also to love yourself. Someone who fills your heart with happiness and doesn’t need changing or want to change you. Someone who laughs at your terrible jokes, smiles at you with sleep in your eyes, a birds nest hair do and ignores your terrible morning breath. Someone who knows how you like your coffee and brings you one in the morning without having to ask. You cannot change someone no matter how hard you try or they say they want to change. You just have to decide what is better in the long run, you only get one life. Leaving my boyfriend is the best thing i ever did because if i wouldn’t of left i wouldn’t be happy. I wouldn’t sitting here happily married in our home and a parent. I probably would still be living at home stuck in a boring loop of arguments and annoyance.

Book club: Kindle reads- March 2020

by Charlie-Jane, posted in books, lifestyle, Uncategorized

So i did a little poll on my Instagram to see if people wanted to see more of my book reviews and what i have been reading each month. Surprisingly a lot of people asked me to do it so here i am. So welcome to my first book club! I will be doing a read along to The Rumour by Lesley Kara if you want to grab a copy and read along with me… So far i’m at chapter two if you’re reading this and want to chat about it going through the book together. But for now here’s some Kindle books I’ve brought on deal for a pound or so in a quick sale (always keep your eyes peeled for deals on the kindle store! This month i haven’t read to many books but here’s some of my favourites i have read recently.

The man who didn’t call by Rosie Walsh. Currently 1:99 on the kindle store.This book is about a woman (Sarah) who falls in love in a short amount of time and she thinks shes found the one after recently splitting from her husband of many years . Then the next day he disappears of the face of the earth. Voicemails left and no response…. It’s interesting to see peoples developments in the book and learn about the characters in depth. It does leave you wondering what has happened and where is Eddie? The first half takes a lot to get through, it is a bit all over the place and goes on for too long but the second half is when you get into the book so to say. I’d rate this 3 stars i am unsure whether i liked it or not. It was in some places boring but other points quite gripping.

The Lido by Libby Page. Currently 4:99 on the kindle store. Well what can i say about this book? Other then it’s one of the greatest books i have ever read! I really had low expectations of this book as it really isn’t my normal read but i saw someone was reading it so i thought i’d try it too and it was on deal at the time. The book follows several characters and their relationship to the lido that is at threat of being closed down by the council to build new flats. I fell in love with every character and getting to know them as if they where old friends or even me. The history of Rosemary who is one of the oldest users of the pool in her 80’s going swimming everyday since she was tiny and even in the war. I also love learning about Kate who is desperately lonely and depressed and how she comes out of her shell making friends with rosemary. You get to know how places can form attachments because of the memories that happen there. Beautifully written and at sometimes heartbreaking it is the ultimate feel good book i couldn’t put down. A must read and 5 stars for sure!

Half a world away by Mike Gayle. Currently 4:99 on the kindle store. If you want a book that’s going to take your heart throw it against the floor and stomp on it and cause a full on ugly cry this book is for you! A brother and sister separated by adoption and the foster care system find each other again after many years later. The book follows Kerry a single mum struggling to make ends meet or searches for her brother to reconnect after missing him and searching for years. Noah who is a very well off and happily adopted finds his sister after she tracks him down and leaves him questioning who he really is. The book really shows how different classes do not matter when family is involved. I won’t say much more as there is some BIG BIG twists and turns in this book which will leave you sobbing your heart out and falling in love, 6 stars out of five wouldn’t be enough..

The tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris. Currently 2:85 on the kindle store. This story follows Lale a Jewish man who is forced to work at Auschwitz. It shows his story and is based on true events that happened in Auschwitz. The book shows the horrible treatment of the Jewish people by the SS and the barbaric living conditions. It’s a truly heartbreaking read one that made me truly grateful for the life i live and thankful. If you’re into history and war related thing like me this is as close to the truth of what happened as you can get while relating to a character and his struggle. This is based on a true story. I won’t divulge to much but this a must read it’s a five star from me.I have the sequel Cilkas journey in my library to read soon!

The chain by Adrian McKinty . Currently 0.99 on Kindle store. The book is about children that are kidnapped and their parents have to choose whether to kidnap someone else’s child to save their child or their child will be murdered if they break the chain. Really thrilling and gets you hooked from the start. Peoples decisions will surprise you! 4 out of five stars!

So there you have my kindle reads for march look out for my April book club coming at the end of April! Stay safe, keep reading!