So we’ve hit mental health awareness week which is such a brilliant idea. It inspires the conversations that need to be happening and it normalises mental health that little bit more. People are being brave and coming forward with their story’s and the love is being shared.
However it’s that week where for a few days people pretend to care about others. To act like they care about being kind and sharing love. Come next Monday normality will come again and the trolls will be out and ready to play. The people that pretended to care go back to ripping people down now they think they’ve got their good person badges for a few weeks.
What I’m trying to say is, be kind. Don’t put others down. Always remember people may be fighting personal battles behind closed doors. Don’t only check on friends and family this week, check on them every week. Share the love you would want if you where suffering. Don’t just share a post and think that’s me done, I’m a incredible human being and the world knows it! Be kind to others and share your time with them.
Ask someone what they’ve been up too. Talk about the weather, a series you’ve watched anything. Reach out to those who have gone silent. Appreciate that although you may not see their mental health issue it does exist and it does hurt mentally and physically. Do not belittle people on medication and don’t identify someone to their mental health conditions.
I want you to join me in sharing the love everyday. Always reaching out, always caring and always doing what’s right. If you don’t like someone simple, cut them out of your lives don’t make them feel bad or make digs to try upset someone. Bring others up not down. Here’s to mental health I’m not glamourising it but you bloody deserve some sort of reward for suffering with it!
After Christmas the doors are stripped of their beautiful wreaths and laid naked to the winters crisp. As spring and summer creeps round you see the odd flower here and there and it makes you smile. Something that beautiful should be captured in our own homes.
After seeing a few celebrities with the most beautiful floral wreaths I decided I needed one in my life too. There is something about having a dressed up door that makes your house look a little bit more like a home! Others walk past and point to it saying how beautiful it is, making all your neighbours envious.
When the lovely violet and flo gifted me the most beautiful wreath i never new how much I needed one. I have been transformed! My door looks fancy and I feel fancy. It’s that bit of elegance I never new I needed. The care that’s gone into these is astounding. The quality is so high they look real. I will be taking it in harsher weather conditions so I can use it year after year.
Dress your door with a bit of elegance and if not dress your house! I’m thinking about swapping mine to inside when my bedrooms decorated to bring that bit of class and originality.
You can order from the lovely violet and flo here and find her Instagram below too!
As a mother you develop a sense of patience. A limit to how much you can handle and how long you can keep calm and a level head. As they get older your patience grows. However now more than ever my patience is being tested to its absolute limits. Elijah has become quite obsessed with pushing boundaries at the moment. I understand that yes this is part of his development but he almost seems in complete overdrive at the moment.
I mean I’m struggling because I can’t go anywhere without him. I go to the toilet he decided to shove something in my face while I beg for alone time. I cook dinner he’s at the stair gate screaming. Clearly he’s developed a attachment to me more now which is flattering but at the same time really annoying. Everything he seems to do is something to grab my attention. Normally something he does is quite negative such as I sit here right now in my little mind full corner he’s being told of by his dad for constantly jumping of sofa and throwing things. The sarcasm from that child is something else completely.
I know he’s in that development stage where he’s learning who’s the boss, what’s right and wrong and what he can get away with it. The terrible twos certainly are living up to their reputation and breaking me. It’s causing my depression to creep back in with the exhaustion that comes with it. I am struggling to have the energy to argue anymore and he’s worse behaved when I don’t argue to tell him to stop being bad.
Talking to other people about the stress I’m feeling at the moment keeps somewhat being put down. “Oh I remember when mine was 2! It wasn’t so bad!” Well yes I imagine it wasn’t. Why? The simple difference is that not only is my child 2 he has also not left the house other then for a walk for almost 3 months now (we started isolating at the beginning of March with Elijah) . I mean yes it must of been hard your child being two but imagine not being able to go out and let your hair down. Imagine not being able to go to your mums for a cuppa to unload or be able to have a night or day off it it all got to much. Instead it is 24 hours of the repeated arguements, tantrums and mood swings that leave you in a frazzled sleepy state of mind.
I’ve noticed I can’t concentrate much at the moment as I’m trying to keep my head above water and focus on keeping together. At times I zone out to try keep myself from failing. My head is a constant headache and sometimes I can’t concentrate on tasks I’m doing. I grow impatient very quickly now and I have become bored of the same thing everyday. I’m hopeful I’ll regain more patience as more things are lifted with the restrictions but for now I’m exhausted and tired of it all .
Obviously we’ve been stuck in quite a while now and so that obviously means your work attire is now pjs and your lunch is no longer a meal deal but instead devouring a very large chocolate bar and bag of crisps whilst staring at a wall. No judgement. But it leaves us with one thing on our minds, what can i watch? I have lost count the amount of times i’ve loaded the Netflix screen flicked through for ten minutes then given up. But there has been the odd time i have found gold and here is some of those little nuggets of joy. Or depression filled trip as i apparently like a lot of things where people die my husband pointed out to me last night.
First up i will hit you with some series:
The handmaids tale- This series follows offered who is a woman who has been stolen from her old life and basically turned into a breeding cow to make babies for her commander. This shows a world where woman have no rights and the woman are treated with no respect. It’s a eyeopener and it really gets you thinking. It’s a must watch and i’m re watching it now again with my husband.
Killing eve- Everyone has heard of it so i wont say much more then this series is basically about a assassin who gets obsessed with a agent investigating her and visa versa. It’s quite funny and suspenseful at times and a really good and easy binge watch.You don’t have to concentrate and the acting is really good on both parts you don’t get bored.
Thirteen- is a series about Ivy a girl who goes missing after being kidnapped. She shows up years later when she manages to escape. It’s a really good suspenseful series with lots of twists and turns and the star is also the star from killing eve.
Greys anatomy-I have re watched this series over and over again and i never feel any less emotion from re watching a episode then to the first time.The series follows Meredith grey and her friends as she becomes a surgeon whilst having all sorts of love affairs and mystery illnesses. I didn’t watch it for years because i thought it would be terrible but you know what i absolutely love it. The emotions you go through and the amount of times my husbands come in from work and seen me ugly crying and said your watching greys ill leave you alone is quite shocking to be honest.
New Amsterdam- similar to greys it is again a medical drama but this series more focuses on their staff then the patients and it’s quite nice getting to know the characters with a bit of medical mystery thrown in.
Working moms- OK so i thought i wont like this series but decided to give it ago and got hooked. It basically just follows a load of mums hanging around in their girl gang and its great. Even if your not a mum its a good comedy filled series to watch.It’s really good to watch as mum to see that your not alone in your feelings and also it’s a good laugh.
The Witcher- Okay i admit i only watched this because one my husband wouldn’t shut about how he plays the game of it and two have you seen henry cavill? I mean. That’s why. It follows a guy who basically has some slight mystical powers and his lover who is a witch. I really loved this series and it has a bit of a game of thronsey/ lord of the rings vibe and i was really sad when we completed it. There’s lots of action and fantasy it’s a great escape from the world at this time.
Vikings- The early seasons are a must. I wont say when to stop watching because that would give it away but the first few seasons are complete binge worthy greatness. The series follows Ragnar and his friends as he invades England. Loosely based on legends it shows how the vikings invaded and it’s a really great series with lots of gore and blood.
Tiger king – annoyingly i hate that i liked it. I spent the whole time thinking why am i watching this crap but now all i can think about is where is Carole baskins husband.
Now lets think of some movies as i’m more of a series person:
Trolls 2- obviously a family favourite had to make it into the misk. After Elijah becoming obsessed with trolls we decided to rent trolls 2 and we all absolutely loved it. It isn’t the same as the first one but still good and i won’t mind watching it again and again.
The invisible man- Again we rented this for a date night and i’m glad we did. Its a bit of a horror/suspense film about a domestic abuser making himself invisible to mess with his ex. Scary at times but the main character is a incredible actress from the handmaids tale and we loved it.
little monsters- This is a comedy about a zombie invasion that happens while a class is on a school trip to a farm. It was quite funny and different to anything we had seen before.
Last Christmas-A romance had to make it in and although it’s not christmas it is such a good film! I cried like a baby in the cinemas and i want to watch it again! A hopeless lovestory of a girl who pushes everyone away who finds the one.But are things really as they seem? A feel good love film to no doubt cause many smiles and tears in the stoniest of hearts.
We’ve all heard it before. You tell someone your feelings and someone’s immediate response is “someone always has it worse“. I am not arguing that people experiences are different on this planet and people do in fact have it worse. However…. they are not you. They are not living your life, someone else’s experiences being worse does not effect your emotions. You are entitled to your feelings as they are not living your life. Every emotion you have is valid. You do not need to see things in a light where things are worse and be positive. It is not healthy.
When your feeling sad you do not need to feel how others have it worse like you’re not aloud to complain. Of course you’re aloud to complain let it out! Keeping emotions in is hard and also more upsetting. Let it out. If you hear someone say but someone has it worth. Just day I understand that but this is my life and my feelings are valid.
Growing up I was always told someone had it worse. Normally compared to African children starving or children being abused at home. Which is a wildly different scenario to saying I’m upset about something. You’re not going to become a desensitised robot and feel instantly better because someone told you you should be grateful for not having things worse.
Our emotions are different to others. Some of us feel things way worse than others and that’s okay. It’s part of who we are, our personality. Never feel that your opinions and emotions are worth less than anyone else’s. If you need help or want to talk to someone don’t be afraid to! It is the most natural thing talking about our feelings and more people should be more willing to both share and listen.
As always I’m always here if anyone needs a chat. Charlie x
Ellie is a mum of three from Gloucestershire, UK. A wannabe perfect housewife, to-do list checker and mental health advocate with dreams of a healthy lifestyle, unburnt cookies and mini adventures. Find out more at alifetwintastic.blog here.
I’m usually all about the routine. It’s embedded into my DNA. The need for structure and organisation. To know what’s coming next and to feel a sense of control. Routine has served me well in the past {hello baby twins} but as with all things, life changes and routines adapt.
When the boys were babies I quickly realised in order for me to survive {mentally} I greatly needed some stability and control in the way of a routine. This worked to a certain extent and it got me through that seemingly impossible first year but not without sacrifice. I became highly set on our schedule, blinkers on and my anxiety at an all time high. I struggled to see past the next job on our list and became irritable and stressed when the routine was messed with {including snapping at my mum in the car one day when I was trying to get the boys to nap}. Having the boys in the same routine was my coping mechanism. Being a first time mum of twins and being naturally inclined to like control and structure caused a huge wrecking ball type effect.
It’s hard to admit it but those days were dark. Postnatal depression crept in. Not accepting any kind of help, feeling like a failure and distraught
With Penny I have always been more relaxed. Be it being a second time mum, a single baby or her generally chilled personality. I don’t know. Again probably all of these things. Penny’s start to life was anything but straightforward. Almost constant morning sickness throughout my pregnancy, a breech baby, emergency c-section, diagnosis of hip dysplasia and subsequent Pavlik harness and then CMPA. But these things didn’t phase me in the same way as they probably would have done the first time round. Don’t get me wrong it was hard. There were dark days but overall the whole experience was much more relaxed and enjoyable.
We have never had Penny in any kind of routine. She woke up when she liked, slept when she liked and fed on demand. She fitted in with our lives as younger siblings do. As a result we were all a lot calmer and relaxed. She made her own daily routine and adapted it when needed. I felt like I could read her better and knew what she needed. This is not to say things were easy. Another bout of postnatal depression hit but this time I was more accepting of it. I accepted help more readily and didn’t blame myself in the same way.
Fast forward to today and I still have a strong sense of routine {on paper} however my mindset has shifted in recent years. Be it an age thing, a family thing or personal growth – probably a mixture of a lot of things. The boys have just turned 5 and P is in full toddlergedon mode. We are in the midst of a National pandemic which has seen us basically locked up at home for the past 7 weeks.
This is a time of surviving and supporting. People are putting their health at risk to keep the majority of us safe. Routines have changed. For us it’s been a time of stepping back and slowing down. Time to spend with our little family and letting the days merge into one. No alarms set. No set bedtime. No real routine. There has still been work and homeschooling but everything seems to have slowed down and relaxed. Increased flexibility it will be hard to let go of when life gets back to normal. Different ways of connecting and supporting one another. Retreating into our bubble and taking time out from being constantly busy. A taste of what life could be. Maybe not all the time but certainly some of it. Time out. A new normal. A new routine.
So it’s been about a month since i stopped watching and reading the news. I deleted my personal twitter, disabled the news notifications on my phone and went out of my way to avoid listening and talking about the news. Why might you ask? Well in short Coronavirus.
I decided that watching the news all day and reading the news all day was causing me to get unnecessarily anxious. Why? Well if people only talk about death and what others are doing you are no doubt going to get yourself worried and in a bit of a situation where you are glued to your screen. I found that i was becoming increasingly more angry at the world and the people not following lock down rules. It was causing me to watch the news more and be more angry if i saw online someone was perhaps not following the news to the absolute t.
Of course there was the worry i’d miss something big but i realised i follow so many people on all sorts of platforms that if things really changed i’d see a news link on someones profile being shared and click on it. This is what i have been doing to educate myself on the virus and the new lock down guidelines as they change but to also not find myself watching that god awful press conference everyday where i want to pull my own hair out at the lack of leadership and confidence i have in the people running this country…
I have found since i have been avoiding the news that i am a lot more happier in ways, I don’t see as many sad stories. I don’t read about all the horrific crimes and incidents happening. I just read what i want to and that is less than a article a week and only if i have seen it a few times. The only press releases i’m excited for now is a local takeaway opening up again and i see that on pages i choose to follow. I have also noticed a abundance of trolls. It’s nice not looking at the news online and seeing horrid keyboard warriors pulling apart each other from the comfort of their sofas while they dunk their hobnobs in their teas and go about their day as normal. The amount of negativity i have cut out of my life from this change is amazing .
If i can recommend one thing to anyone it is that you try to remove as much of the news from your life as you can. Unfollow news pages such as your local news. Turn of notifications and listen to the radio instead of the morning news or programmes that talk about the news such as good morning Britain. Check once a day and then try cut it more. Read the news that you’ve seen a few times shared by peers as this means it may be important but other then that try to avoid it. If you feel you need to watch the news there are plenty of happy news channels out there too so get your fill of cute puppy instead!
Stay home, stay safe and as always i am here if you need me. Charlie x
Now that we have officially celebrated our first anniversary I can officially put together a gift guide. Why paper? Well I have only been married a year and that’s the token gift for a year. Not very glamorous but you know, you can make it work!
So first of all if you’re sticking to theme obviously you want the gift to be some kind of paper gift. So here’s a few ideas on what you could get on theme.
I got my husband a print. I got a illustrator, the lovely novell_designs to design me a print for our anniversary which was to bring a photo of the three of us together in a photo alone. On our wedding day nobody took a picture of our family of three so me and James absolutely love what she’s done. If you enter quick I have a giveaway with her at the moment that ends at 9pm tonight so hurry up to my Instagram if you want to win!
That’s not to say it has to be something like this. I got this as previously me and James have got each other quite a lot of similar gifts. We’ve had prints made and photos printed and I even a few years ago got James a print of the words of his favourite song in the shape of a cd which he loved! so I wanted to try and be different. I have recently brought for a family members anniversary a star and they got a certificate and everything which I thought was cute! We have also designed a star map which makes the perfect anniversary gift seeing the nights sky of your wedding night for all of eternity!
Keeping on theme with paper you could make some little notes on why you love them and even write them a letter. Aswell as that you can even make some vouchers for things like household jobs and letting them pick the movie for once.It’s free and nice. You can also get some photos printed or make a collage of your favourite photos together! My husband shocked me with the cutest gift he has ever gotten me which was a little box filled with notes he had made telling me reasons why he loves me. This may be the sweetest thing I’ve ever received and it’s not just a gift for the day it’s something I’ll read over and over again especially if I am sad.
None paper gifts are also a easy one too. Not everyone is into lovey dovey stuff and that’s okay! You can always buy them their favourite sweets or a bottle of gin. Whatever you know they like get it. Following somewhat tradition of anniversary’s (we got married on five years of us being together) I have always received flowers from James. This year he completely outdone himself and they are the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen. I think this isn’t just a gift for me but everyone in the house as I really think flowers boost everyone’s mood. If you’ve got hayfever get fake ones! I still have my wedding bouquet in my living room because it was artificial and I smile at it everyday.
Whatever your thinking of getting don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s your anniversary enjoy it. Congrats on being married a year and enjoy a life time of happiness! Charlie x
I have already touched in previous blog posts about my anxiety and how it effects me in social situations. I touched upon how i always feel anxious around others and worry about being in groups. I also touched upon how i always feel others are watching everything i do even though i know deep down inside they clearly aren’t and wouldn’t care. But that was before the corona virus and now that anxiety has changed to a bit of survival instinct around others. Not only am i now concerned about others views of me and being around other people but now i worry about the current pandemic as well.
Being around others in public in situations where i’m social distancing (i.e exercising or shopping for essentials) has started to become a bit of a bother, Although there are easy rules to follow in the fact of social distancing in public i find that a lot of people ignore the rules and get too close for comfort. Its quite simple to keep your distance but runners want to get shoulder to shoulder and shoppers seem to want to barge through to get there cheese that bit quicker. The way the world has changed has been quite scary especially in supermarkets it causes a fair bit of anxiety. I find it feels like we’re in some sort of war with the virus and with everyone else.The changes to queuing and where you can and can’t go can be quite overwhelming. I also find the checkout the place where i am most anxious and have my panicky moments. The rush to load and unload your trolley while also having no choice but to touch dirty items just sends me into overdrive i worry about the person thinking i am taking too long, the Que behind me and the germs and i feel so overwhelmed the whole time till i’m out the store and can catch my breath. I find that i get quit anxious when people get a bit to close for comfort i get really hot and i feel a lot of pressure to run away to sanitise. My ocd seems to come back in the form i have to change shower and wash my clothes immediately after leaving the house too because someone may of coughed or breathed too near me.
After the lock down ends i wonder if i’ll always be in this state of anxiousness around big groups and being around strangers. Obviously for as long as corona virus is around i am sure i’l be sanitising till i’m red raw and avoiding being too close to anyone as much as possible. It causes a lot of questions. Will i be able to Que without getting hot and sweaty. Will i be able to shop without feeling like having a panic attack? Will i return to the doctors for medical issues that are non urgent but still need treating out of fear of infection? Will i feel comfortable travelling or going to shows with big crowds? Who knows. All i know the world has changed and as humans we have to adapt but for us anxiety suffers it really is hard accepting all this change. Especially the change in routine, Hopefully we can move forward soon and the lock down be eased slowly so that we can slowly ease ourselves into civilisation again!
Hi ladies and gentlemen welcome back to my blog! Today I thought I’d do something a little bit different and view a small businesses candles selection. They kindly sent me some to try in exchange for a review so here we are! Anyone who knows me that my thing is candles and I probably have about 50 candles and wax melts in my house at any one time! So one could say I’m a bit of a snob. My usual go to candles are sweet or homey smells. My all time favourite brands are yankee candles and sand and fogs range all the way from the untied states. One could say I have a expensive taste. However that doesn’t mean I don’t partake in the occasional home bargains candle and hope for the best. So without further adue let’s get into this review. And from just opening the box and smelling the goodies inside I know it’s going to be a good one!
So first impressions. The candles come very well packaged with very little risk of breakage. The packaging is sleek and simplistic my sort of style. I hate bright in your face candles that look like a Poundland special. Sorry Poundland it’s not personal. The candle box is simplistic and pretty it reminds me of something I can’t put my finger quite on! The jars are simple and pretty again with their logo on and the chosen scent. I love these jars because when they’re empty I wash them up and use to store bits and bobs in them like sweets or cotton wall. The wax melts are absolutely adorable and I love the little tiny size it goes to show a little goes a long way. The heart shape is really quite pretty. Lastly but not least the snap pods are in a easy tub which you simply pop the lid of, again sleek and elegant design. All of their products come with safety advice clearly highlighted on the back which i think is such a fantastic idea!
First up is the candle. This candle is Thyme, olive & bergamot. First of all this candle completely took me by surprise. I opened up to sniff and oh my god I was completely taken aback. The smell is so strong and fresh and filled my nostrils up with the fresh smell. I absolutely love it. Dare I say it? I found it stronger than a yankee candle. I know. That good! I’d describe the smell as similar to a men’s aftershave. It reminds me of my husband and I know he will absolutely love it too. Obviously as it’s a candle they’ll be a long burn time which is always a bonus. Plus it looks so pretty in my bedroom and living room or even my bathroom.
Onto the wax melts. I’d say these are to buy to sort of try a product before buying. These would be prefect for small little burners around the house.
Sun washed linen is the next scent I got to trial! I love the smell of laundry on a washing line and this is that exact smell. It reminds me of elijah being a baby and hanging his washing out and giving it a big sniff. I adore this smell and can’t wait to burn it.
Peony’s are my favourite flowers so naturally I love anything peony related. My wedding bunch included one and my anniversary flowers have the most beautiful bulbs about to bloom! This scent has lychee in too! It smell phenomenal and fresh. It also smells fruity and like a sweet I am in love with this one and want a big candle! WOW!
Next up we have the pink champagne and pomelo. Again they smell really strong and beautiful. A slightly fancy smell perfect as a gift. Again the fruit in it makes a fresh fruity smell which really works well with the champagne! Very sweet and lovely.
Snap pod up next! Easy to snap one out and pop in your burner. This one is black Raspberry &Peppercorn . This is a soft smell. Very soothing
I was kindly gifted these items and all opinions are my own and honest. I will be purchasing again once I’ve used them all up. Very soothing and warming smell. Smells like a homey smell which is one of my favourite things about a candle.
So that’s everything. They all burn well and my house smells amazing no matter which one I use. I imagine they’ll last a long time and i have got to say I’m really impressed these may be my favourite candles I have ever had. The perfect gift and the perfect everyday purchase. No mater your budget they’re very affordable.
They sell wax melts, snap pods, Reed diffusers and of course candles! The best thing about them is the candles are non toxic. You can find them on Etsy, Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook! Shop them here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LolaRaeCandles
To get a discount they have kindly given a 10% off voucher just enter the code – THEHAZELWOODS
Do check this lovely family run company named after their adorable little dog! Remember to shop small and support small businesses where you can! They are also donating 10 percent of may revenue to nhs charities.
Life with the Hazelwoods 