Category: Uncategorized

Why I don’t drive.

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

I was in primary school when I was hit by a car walking to school. I remember being flung into the air like a food wrapper in a gust of wind. I remember the thud as I came down and the shock. I remember people scrambling round me and crying for my mum. My bag had been ripped to shreds and my Lisa Simpson pencil case and lunchbox had possibly saved my life by the dents to the front of their tin cases.

I was okay of course I’m still standing today but I did break a finger, severely sprain my legs and possibly this is the cause for my back pain all my teenage an dying adult life being knocked to the side by a car can mess you up in ways you don’t see. The trauma it caused me remembering one what it was like to be me and two the poor young woman who hit me screaming in tears praying I was ok and clearly shaken up. Thirdly my thoughts where with her poor bunny that was going to the vets it had knocked into the windscreen as she’d stopped. When the ambulance came I remember being so scared I’d be in a accident on the way and didn’t trust cars for a long time. When I’m a passenger I’m over cautious and worry at any closeness to another car especially now I’m a mother with a car seat to worry about.

So why don’t I drive? Exactly this reason. I’ve taken around 8 driving lessons where I absolutely hated them. I had a panic attack every time I sat behind the wheel and every time a car came near or someone crossed the road or walked in the street. I worry I will hit them and it’ll be my fault. I worry I’m going to get hurt by another car and it all gets too much. I have a lot of people in my family telling me just to drive but unless you’ve been hit by a car as a child I don’t think you can really understand the trauma. It’s not as easy as just drive as I physically cannot trust myself behind a wheel if I was to have a panic attack so I jacked it in. It doesn’t effect me too much. I enjoy walking with Elijah to places and going on the bus sometimes. I only go to town which is fifteen mins from my house on a good day so it’s quicker than driving and parking and cheeper then paying fuel. If I go out with friends I normally bus to them or meet them or take turns coming to mine. My husband drives so at weekends or if errands or day trips are further a field we just drive then and we have two car seats one for me to take out with friends and one for our car. It’s all about making the best out of a bad situation and I’m yet to have a big problem yet.

The importance of adventuring the world with my toddler.

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

Once they learn to walk there is nothing mote toddlers love to do more than explore. If you’re noticing your child getting increasingly more grouchy sometimes a trip out can be fun for everyone. One thing i find my toddler loves to do is explore. He loves to now pick up sticks and throw them and look for and point out all the animals. He also loves kicking around and throwing leaves in the air under a tree which has started to loose their leaves ready for the winter. Autumn is definitely my favourite time of the year and not just because of the return of gingerbread syrups and eating lots of comfort food. No i love autumn because of the temperature its cool enough you’re not hot or cold when going for a walk. You enjoy having a cup of tea after to enjoy where you’re warmed up and have that cosy warm inside feeling instead of being a hot sweaty mess. You get to wear cosy boots and wellies where you don’t get dirt under your toes of the sandels that look great on but have no practicality at all.

I always like to take my little boy for walks because that’s what me and his dad do. We always have loved walks and i want to teach him to love the world we are in. I like to go out and show him trees and wildlife. I like to point out pretty plants and views and tell him what they are. I want him to have a active life where we can instead of sitting around which we sometimes have no choice to do. I like to go to different places so we don’t get bored off the same view all the time.

Elijah loves running so we like to go and take him somewhere he can run loose and of course we chase as fast as we can to keep up with him. We normally take his trike with us so that if he is tired we can push him in his trike which he loves. We are quite lucky for where we live as there are lots of parks, nature walks, lakes, meadows and beaches short drives or walks away so we get to travel to new exciting places.

Walks are good for the well being and mind. Not only will you destress you’ll also feel more healthy. Its a activity of exercise for your toddler and you wont even know it! Talking toddlers through walks and pointing out things and chatting as you walk through is a great chance to learn. They’ll learn what things are and also chat to you as they go through with no distractions. It’s the perfect place for learning and taking in the full magnitude of the worlds beauty.

Sometimes we like going for walks to parks or places with play areas as there is nothing more our little guy likes more than completely going nuts. He loves climbing and going down the slide shouting “WEE” as loud as he possibly can. He giggles at high he goes on a slide and does a lot of exciting faces as he gets too excited using a toy stearing wheel on a model bike/ car or boat. We have one behind our house we try to go to regularly when hes good to have a run about and yes i mean behind my house i could jump my fence and be on the park. We like to spice things up tho we like to go to different parks so its different and the adventure is new. We like to try new places so it feels more like a day out and we will go with friends or weekends with daddy. The best thing about going for a walk is its a great bonding experience and memory making activity. Something ill always remember from my childhood is spending time in parks going for walks with friends and family. The fact that its free is just a plus!

A bit of self indulgent shopping can be therapeutic!

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

In a bid to try and relax I went to catch up with a old friend and ended up splurging a little too much in town but who cares. Retail therapy is good for the soul sometimes! There’s nothing better than looking around shops choosing what you like and don’t and trying something new.

So today I brought my usual indulgement which is my shampoo and conditioner from the body shop. I love this range and it REALLY has made a difference to my hair it’s thicker and less greasy and smells great. It’s also softer and I could even say perhaps even a little less frizzy! I also buy the garnier ultimate blends masks in banana and coconut and shear and mix them up so I don’t get bored and hair feels so clean and bouncy when I have used it. It’s a little more pricey than a bottle of Asda’s own head and shoulders but I love the stuff! While in body shop I got carried away and brought a strawberry gift set on sale for myself and have already used 3 of the items and smell glorious!

A trip to boots where I probably should be banned from was next. I always end up buying a ridiculous amount of make up or skincare from there and guess what today was the skincare day. My most recent buy of some natural face scrub had been scratching my skin so I needed to buy something a bit better. I brought an old favourite I hadn’t used since perhaps high school so I thought I’d give the range ago again so I brought their grapefruit daily face scrub and their face wash from the same range. I also got their spot defence toner for when my toner runs out which is imminent (not really it’s full). I also saw two face peel masks on sale so I obviously had too buy two. Obviously.

After I’d come home we popped to shops to collect Elijahs Halloween costume we’d ordered in so required me buying chocolate and some new pjs. They’re very cosy and required me to pamper myself in bath using my new products and use some body lotion I found at the back of my cupboard that I’d cleared to make way for more crap I really didn’t need.

It definitely makes me feel better when I’ve brought new things and I get excited to try them so whenever I feel down I buy myself a little something. From a Fredo at the corner shop to a new outfit it can make you feel good and excited to use what you’ve brought!

What to feed a fussy toddler for lunch so they eat!

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

As a mother I love talking to other mothers and getting advice on things, one of the most important things for me is what do you feed your fussy child? Every child eats different of course but sometimes you can pick up on what others eat and try and change it around to fit you and your child.

I try not to put to much pressure on meals as if he doesn’t eat or isn’t hungry I don’t want him to associate food with negativity when I want him to be a foody like his mummy and daddy! So today’s lunch was a dunker box. Breadsticks or crackers with spreadable cheese is always a favourite as he loves to dip! A cheese string. For little mouths cut up! A yogurt which is good for dairy needs! Hand full of raspberries and chopped mango. A glass of water to teach him we drink at meal times to get more fluid intake! And a slice of teddy bear ham he gobbled up earlier!

Some things I give at lunch time he enjoys.

  • Wraps.
  • Wrap pizza (outing tomato paste and cheese on a wrap and putting in over for three minuites to melt the cheese).
  • Toast
  • Toastier.
  • Pasta.
  • Rice.
  • Cous cous.
  • Shredded chicken.
  • Food that looks like things.
  • Breadsticks.
  • Cheese crackers.
  • Cheese straws.
  • Beans on toast or spaghetti.
  • Jam sandwiches.

We try to change it up everyday so he doesn’t get bored of what he’s eating which he seems to enjoy we do same for dinner times too!

Why I’m taking a break from social media (my personal social media at least).

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

As much as social media is a gift to our generation it can also be a curse. I’m going through quite a bad bout of anxiety recently and a lot of self doubt in myself my image and judging myself on how good a wife and mother I am. I’ve noticed a lot recently the amount of people who post fake life’s online and how I’ve seen the other side of that image they put up and the fact seeing other peoples fake images make me feel down and low.

After watching odd one out on bbc I player I’ve really stated to notice all the hurtful things strangers say to each other online and how they hide behind a computer screen to say the most disgusting things. I being someone who has been bullied both in person and cyber bullied know first hand how comments can hurt. And I can’t help but feel the negativity and somewhat when I see people bullying people online. People writing on Instagram posts people look ugly or say for example news papers and public ripping apart the royal family and Meghan Markle. The people comment like they know her and can actually form an opinion on someone they don’t even know or ever will! I’ve also been reading a notes on a nervous planner. From the first page I related this to my anxiety. I.e segueing with strangers, staring at my phone and wasting my life and comparing my life and everything to others. When you’re feeling down you already are feeling pretty negative and looking on twitter and Facebook basically just shows more negativity and bad things that affect how we live.

I have more time. I have only gone one day without social media and I have already spotless cleaned my house and kept it clean. I have done all house work and not been exhausted by it. I’ve spent more time playing with my son and had more time do things with him I wouldn’t always do. I cooked home cook meals today from scratch and wasn’t distracted I enjoyed listening to music and hearing it and watched a sunset. I had the house tidy and Elijah bathed and in bed for 7 and I was bathed and ready to relax by 8. I’m currently catching up on Kuwtk and then I’ll be in bed for 9 to either sleep or read till I’m ready and it’s something I’d never do as I’d waste hours on my phone for no reason!

I’m less stressed. I’m not anxious about reading arguements or getting involved in them. Seeing talk about brexit and politicians. Not seeing news story’s where something horrible is happening when I can barely relax myself let alone the anxiety on the worrying about them.

So who knows how long this will last but if you’re stressed just try a day without social media.

Super quick and healthy Bolognese

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

Something everyone in my family loves is a bolognese so if we’re cooking for just us three or quite a few it’s a sure crowd pleaser. I make everything from scratch that goes into it so I can have it for little babies that done round ours and my son loved when weaning!

What goes in it?

  • Peppers 3 different colours a yellow, green and red.
  • Onion.
  • Mushrooms.
  • 2 garlic cloves.
  • Tinned tomato’s.
  • 2 tablespoons of tomato purée.
  • Oregano a table spoon.
  • Basil a tablespoon.
  • Sprinkle of chilli flakes or more if you like spicy.
  • Chives a sprinkle or one diced stick.
  • Mince 250 grams for saucy or 500 for little sauce or quorn.
  • Garlic granules a sprinkle.
  • Vegetable oil or 1 cal spray which I use.

Method:

Cut all your veg, the smaller the better especially the mushroom if you dice it picky eaters who don’t eat mushroom (but aren’t allergic).Shove everything in pan then oil or spray on top and mix in. Add your mince ( I use 5% as it’s healthier and tastes so much better). Stir and heat on high till browned then drain juices. When juices are drained shove in your tinned tomato’s. Add purée and seasoning. Stir around until fully spread and keep on high stirring every few minutes. If you’re making pasta with this the time to do is now and when then pastas done the mince is too! The mince and sauce will combine and everything will mix nicely and it should be done in ten minutes. Simply serve and anything you don’t eat can be frozen and defrosted and reheated later! Perfect way to get toddlers to eat there vegetables as they can’t see the coloured veg as well covered in a tomatoey sauce! The meal is quite cheep and all veg and mince can be brought for about a fiver in aldi except the spices but they’re cheep enough and last many different meals!

Trip to Jimmy’s farm!

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

We’re quite lucky to leave in a countryside town. They’re no shortages of beautiful countryside walks, farms and animals if you have a look about nature. We’re also very lucky to live quite near by (ten minute drive) to Jimmy’s farm! If you live in the uk it’s probably one of the most famous little farms there is. Jimmy the owner is friends with Jamie Oliver and has had a few tv shows.

It’s a lovely little farm that’s spread out. The animals all seem as happy as they can be at a farm and there is plenty to see and do. I would rate this probably one of the most toddler friendly places to go as there is so much for them and children to do. It’s not overly expensive either and there’s plenty of homey shops and cafes. The restaurant sells the best sausage and mash I have ever had! The pens are quite spaced out so lots of room to run around and no crowding on busy days. There’s lots of different pens with different animals. You can tell the farmers really look after their animals and clean up constantly as it doesn’t have that horrible farm smell you get when you go to a farm and you’re not having to watch your feet for animal poop!

The play areas are quite nice there’s a sandpit with a pirateship, sandcastle equipment, tires and a massive bouncy pillow for kids to jump on aswell as little slides. There’s also a really big play frame for kids too and more play equipment. There’s a little snack shed next door to play bits so can buy little bits for sitting round watching kiddos play. There’s also a little animal trail where you look for statues of animals and make dens with sticks. There’s a hobbit house complete with toy utensils perfect for little ones. The place is very inclusive aswell and has BSL signs for each animal to teach children the signs too aswell as hell those who are deaf! Plenty of space to run round too! There’s a little picnic area with pretend cars and tractors kids can get in and pretend to drive.

Some of the animals that we could see!

  • Ponys
  • Donkeys
  • Ducks
  • Chickens
  • Tortoises
  • Birds
  • Emus
  • Ostrich
  • Goats
  • Sheep
  • Wallabies
  • Pigs
  • Cows
  • Butterfly house
  • Lizards
  • Snakes
  • Crocodiles
  • Reindeer
  • Llamas
  • Bunny’s
  • Meerkats
  • Camels

Overall a lovely day out and somewhere we go again and again. If you’re ever in Suffolk and want to see a farm this is for you!

A letter to my little guy at 22 months.

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

Sitting here in bed with you watching hey duggee for the millionth time I feel so lucky to be able to spend my mornings with you. I love that you insist on cuddling close or putting a foot or hand on me to let me know that you are still there when your lost in the tv world. I love how kind you are becoming, I love that you love to spend time with friends and family and share your toys without any prompt. I love that you are so eager to share your knowledge and show other children and people what you have found and learnt yourself. I so love watching how your mind grows everyday, how everyday you say new words and I am so proud of you for even trying. You’re favourite thing to do is play with yours jungle animals and include mummy and daddy in the play. I love how you throw your head back and shout roar and we have a animal noise shout off even at 6 am when you’ve just woken up (not even sorry neighbours).

I love that you tell me if you’d like to go out and tell me you would like to go in a car or a bus which means go out. I love that when we go out you’re always so happy just to if left the house even if just to go to the shops. You tell me what you can see and get so excited even by the fat ginger cat that try’s to steal your buggy when we walk. You’re totally crazy and full of energy when we go soft okay or the park but you never want to be too far from me and I watch you look for me and happily shout mummy and run for me smiling when you get lonely.

Watching films and tv series something I’ve always do with my own finally happens. You will let me cuddle you for more than a second and my heart feels full once more while we watch the lion king AGAIN or something else. I enjoy how you play with toys differently. We used to just hold and look at cars but now we race them and push them and their buttons. We colour together now and use stickers and different colours now too! We play with okay dough and you will make shapes and play with the tools and not get bored and want to run around holding a blue ball for a hour screaming if taken off you. We use your toy kitchen and make fake food together and then you share with your guests when the come over and show them how to cook too. Animals are now given voices and people and not just something to run and hold now.

Even now as I lay here planning you and your best friends joint birthday party for two months time I’m still in shock you will be two. You may be already exhibiting the signs of the terrible twos but even when you have rolled around screaming all day over a toy, I will always miss you the second I put you to bed and check on you several times just to watch you sleep and kiss your sleepy head. How I wish time would slow down so I could enjoy you a little more.

Missing your own baby’s birth.

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

Possible trigger…I missed my own child’s birth, yes he came from inside of me but I missed it. I’m not being dramatic or anything like that but I was put to sleep so I missed my own child’s birth. Something I will never get over. A bit of back story…

When I was pregnant I didn’t feel my baby move much. He would have quiet days and I’d be constantly up hospital. It wasn’t until I was 35 weeks pregnant when they decided to give me a scan and locate that the baby was breech. I had a appointment to have something called a turn of the baby inside of me which didn’t work and was the worse pain of my life. So I had no choice but to have a c-section because of how the gremlin was laying. 3 weeks later would be the day he would be born and I would become a mother when I was booked in for surgery. On the day I remember being exhausted from excitement but also I had spent weeks feeling something would go wrong. I was right.

Being prepped for surgery was eventful the staff put a massive ass cannula in me after several attempts and wheeled me in to theatre. I remember thinking the theatre looked a bit boring and like a normal room. The theatres I had worked in had no windows and no outdated machinery. None the less I sat on the bed. I was told not to move while a massive needle was inserted into my back. They do not tell you how much this will hurt. I don’t think the trainee got the placement right to this day. I layed on the bed and meds given to send my body to sleep below the stomach. Although I couldn’t move my legs I could still feel my stomach. They rubbed ice on my tummy and they used needles to feel for pain. I alerted them several times I could still feel the cold of the ice and the prick of the needles. Surgeons being surgeons kind of ignored me. My husband was a bit worried for me when I looked scared as anything holding his hand with wires attached to me everywhere getting in the way.

Then they cut me. I can still remember now the screaming as I felt it. They knew immediately something was not right and that the medication had not worked. I was to miss my own childs birth because it was too late to try putting the needles back in my back as I was open on the table. My husband was pulled from the room and I remember the mask being lifted on to my face and loosing consciousness . I missed my child being born and others met and held my child before me.

I remember coming round. I remember coming round by choking for air as I had a saw throat from the breathing equipment inserted into my airways which had been taken out and then shivering with pain as my stomach was in unbearable pain from surgery and coughing was pulling at it. I was given water and woke up alone. Without my baby. I remembered that I had been pregnant but I thought it was a dream. I thought I had been in a terrible car accident and that I was not really pregnant. The drugs where so strong I didn’t realise my son had been brought in the room to meet me and told my husband it wasn’t the time to bring in blankets. Then it came back to me when I was brought down to my room and I started to come round more. I met my son but at first I didn’t have that immediate rush of love. How was I supposed to know he was really mine? I remember thinking he was too beautiful to be mine. I remember feeling robbed and I think it caused me to struggle to accept I was a mother because I had missed the birth. After drugs had worn it and time had passed my love started to grow and I could see bits of me and his dad in him as I stared down into his eyes.

I’m always jealous now of mothers who witnessed their birth. I’m always sad when people say they had traumatic births and still got to see their baby born and that love that comes with it. I’m not downplaying others emotions or their experiences because I like to think if I was in that situation I would struggle to but I always find it so hard to see others not feeling lucky they witnessed their own children’s births. To see other people’s reactions when the baby comes out. To hear the first cry. To share the first touch, to see them first. Instead wait a hour to meet him and my mum and husband had seen him and changed him, had held him and loved him first. Maybe one day I’ll get over it but for now it’s still fresh and I still long for seeing that moment when he was born. When people say to have a section is the easy way out I want to scream in their face because it’s not. The feeling of not seeing your baby born and struggling to bond as they are born in a unnatural way to not be able to move to hold them straight away and to be in pain for weeks/ months even years after isn’t and never will be the easy way.

It’s okay to hate your body after a baby.

by Charlie-Jane, posted in Uncategorized

Its okay to hate your body after having a baby, of course you’re thankful to your body for being able to grow a life inside there but it is more than ok to not like how it looks afterwards. Nobody tells you when you have a baby you’ll still have somewhat a bump sometimes and that your stretch marks will stay and cause lumps and bumps in some unmentionable places.

Hips get big and don’t work like an elastic band going back into place once your child’s out. Csection scars are not always pretty. Overhang causes a literal muffin top that will never go away. You’re stretch marks stretch to the thighs, hips and boobs aswell as going around and round on your stomach. Your hair falls out in clumps and doesn’t come back. You’re complexion is fairer with darker circles surrounding your eyes that no amount of concealer can single handedly fix.

Boobs deflate and become somewhat saggy after breastfeeding. No mater how little or often you do it. You’re love handles become love drawers, rolls apon rolls that refuse to go. Loosing weight is harder because you’re still trying to recover whilst also feel the need to rush every meal. You’ll notice your body doesn’t feel like your old one. Straight after having my baby I had people tell me it’ll go back soon and soon still hasn’t come. Diets, excercise and body butter rituals later I still look like I’ve got a deflated balloon bump for a stomach waiting to be blown up again and get even more saggy.

My point being it is is ok to not love your post natal body and not everyone’s snaps back to their original size straight away and that’s ok. You’re aloud to hate reading posts where people say they love their body because they have a kid! I am thankfull and greatfull that my body could do this incredible thing such as grow a baby. But it is ok also to look in the mirror and not be happy. It’s valid to not be grateful that you look like a half deflated beach ball at times. It’s ok to want to wear swimsuits now over a bikini or long sleethed tops and jeans now instead of crop tops and shorts. It’s ok to look in the mirror and not be pleased. It is okay.